I’m so thrilled by the response I've been getting to my newest project. I love hymns and have included several as I've done concerts over the past few years. I put these together with some great input from you all about what classic hymns really move you. It’s apparent to me that you all connect with these songs in ways that are completely different than any other music. I understand. Having grown up in the church, there’s a sense of honoring my heritage by recording these songs. But more than that, there is a richness to the lyrics that can’t be topped by anything I could come up with on my own. Click here to stream or download the whole project!
To start off the new year, we are releasing a new single to Christian radio! It's the first single taken from my new Hymns For The Journey project and it's the one that I love jogging to. I always wonder if artists listen to their own music... Well, in my case, I can unashamedly say yes! It gives me energy and reminds of the beautiful story that God is writing with my life...with all of our lives. "Holy, Holy, Holy" is one of the original worship tunes, and celebrates the triune God. I hope you enjoy my new version. Please let your local radio station know that you'd like to hear it on their station. And let me know if you do!
Thank you so much to everyone who came out to this year's Hope of Christmas Tour. Each date was a different kind of show, unique as a um, snowflake? Seriously, every concert was in a different kind of venue, with a different experience for me and the audiences. Thanks to all the venues that hosted a show in Omaha, Blair, Nisswa, Plymouth, Minneapolis, and Rochester. I covered 2600 miles on the trek and loved that I got to spend some good time with my family up in Minnesota. Still honored that several TV stations continue to play "The Perfect Gift" - as more and more people are connecting with my song "Emmanuel (You Are With Me)" as a result.
Here's a link to an interesting interview about "The Perfect Gift" how it addresses the Nativity scene controversy, as well as a bit about my acting stuff. Click here to read it!
Well, here's something interesting from my past. This was one of the first on-camera jobs I got after moving to Nashville. It was a long, incredibly hot day in Nashville. I think I actually got a bit of heat stroke, if I remember right. And because of that, they put a crew guy under the hood of the car for that particular shot, while I sat inside with a cold washcloth on my forehead! Other than that, yep...it's all me. Click here to watch!!
The road is filled with great surprises and beautiful stories. One of the most powerful stories was told to me at the first stop of my Hope of Christmas tour in Manchester, NH. Whitney Konz was just 26 when her 24-year-old husband was shot and killed last summer. This marks her second Christmas season without her beloved Kevin. I desire to honor Whitney & Kevin by telling their story, and by sharing how she’s found a way to survive in the midst of horrendous pain, hopefully helping someone else trapped in the prison of grief.
One of the best ways Whitney found to survive after Kevin died was to hunt for a support system. She found a non-profit organization called Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation (sslf.org). In addition to providing a national network of support for anyone grieving the loss of someone they love — with a special emphasis on those who have been widowed — SSLF offers a variety of programs, including Camp Widow (www.campwidow.org), which Whitney reluctantly signed up for.
“I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t want to be disappointed if the other widow/ers wouldn’t know how to connect with me because my story was too tragic or too sad. Boy, was I wrong! There are a multitude of tragic and sad stories and it was the first place in eight months that I had felt normal. I didn’t cringe when someone asked me how he died, I told my story and just felt the instant love, support, and acceptance that was so difficult to get from others who just didn’t understand.”
When I kicked off my Hope of Christmas Tour 2012 in Manchester, NH, I had no idea the gift I would receive. To be honest, I’m usually sufficiently surprised by what happens when I do concerts and the amazing stories people tell me. But this one was different. Whitney Konz helped me out at the CD table for the evening, but it wasn’t until after the concert I learned her story.
There’s a part of my concert where I talk about how Christmas is an extremely difficult time of the year for many people. While the whole world seems to be celebrating and decking the halls with family and friends, many are experiencing intense feelings of sadness and grief due to death of a loved one, distance in relationship, depression, discord…I could go on, right? Then I sing “Emmanuel (You Are With Me)” [watch the video here]. But when I heard Whitney’s story, I knew she could probably speak to this topic better than I ever could.
On June 24th, 2011 Whitney’s world was shattered when she got a phone call that her husband, Kevin, was dead. He had been mistaken as an intruder and shot. She was only 26 years old and the magnitude of not only his death, but the manner in which he died, was so unbelievable that she didn’t know if she was going to be able to survive.
“I stayed up nights crying and screaming. I couldn’t help thinking that it was my fault and that I should have done something, anything different so he would still be alive. It took months and months of support groups, individual therapy, and support from friends and family to finally realize that this was not my fault and that even though I was going through unimaginable pain, in time the pain would not be so bad and I would eventually smile at his memory instead of cry.”
I'm so looking forward to another year of the Hope of Christmas Tour! We had so much fun last year, and it was a very meaningful way to focus on the true meaning of the season. Here are the details of this year's tour: Nov. 24th - Manchester, NH - Gethsemane Lutheran - 4pm - FREE Dec. 9th - Omaha, NE - Broadmoore Hills Clubhouse (Elkhorn) - 6pm - $5 donation at door Dec. 12th - Blair, NE - First Lutheran Church - 7pm - FREE Dec. 15th - Nisswa, MN - The Journey Church - 7pm - FREE Dec. 16th - Nisswa, MN - The Journey Church - 10am service Dec. 16th - Plymouth, MN (Private House Concert) - 6pm Dec. 18th - Minneapolis, MN - Fine Line Music Cafe - doors at 6pm - show at 7pm - $10 door (21+) Dec. 21st - Rochester, MN - UTurn Event Center - doors at 6:30pm - show at 7pm - with Calvary Brass Ensemble & Amy Lindstrom
I look forward to seeing you on the road! Please have snow and mistletoe!
Please Come To A Concert! I'm heading to Florida on Monday for some concerts - and would love to see you - or have you invite people you know that live nearby. Please shoot me an email if you have any questions. Here's what the schedule is looking like...
SAINT MARYS, GA - Tuesday, Oct 30 - 6:30pm - The Rock @ Lighthouse - Free
LAKELAND, FL - Thursday, Nov 1 - 7:00pm - First Community Church of Highland City - Free
PORT ST. LUCIE, FL - Sunday, Nov 4 - 4:00pm - Hope Lutheran Church - Free
PALATKA, FL - Thursday Nov 8 - 7:00pm - First Assembly of God - Free
And then I have a couple definites on the Hope of Christmas tour schedule - if you'd like to come out for one of those shows, that'd be great. Please have snow.
MANCHESTER, NH - Saturday Nov 24 - 4:00pm - Gethsemane Lutheran Church - Free
BLAIR, NE - Wednesday Dec 12 - 7:00pm - First Lutheran Church - Free
I hope that this update finds you well. And that you're seeing more and more clearly each day how incredibly LOVED you are by God, who made you and is with you, carrying you each step of the way on this beautiful journey.
Hello Everybody! Can't believe it's October already...what happened to September? I'm thrilled to pass on some exciting news about my upcoming project. All you have to do is click on the picture here and it'll take you to a video on youtube where you'll see me in person on the roof of my building. (or just click here) Or if you'd like to go ahead and get straight to it...click here to go to the pre-order page!
Nashville is such a city of promise. It reminds me a bit of the California Gold Rush of mid-1800. Some lucky random guy found gold in an old mill, and before long, 300,000 men, women, and children flocked to the Golden State from all over the country, and even as far away as Latin America, Europe, Australia and Asia. A handful of people recovered millions of dollars worth of gold, but most people went home none the richer. As you can imagine, the boom brought with it a considerable amount of economic good for California.
Unfortunately, the Gold Rush wasn’t without its negative affects, as Native Americans were attacked and pushed off their land, creating race and ethnic tensions. Not to mention environmental harm caused by prospectors literally overturning every stone, trying to get their piece of the pot.
When I first heard there was gold in them there hills of Nashville, it wasn’t long before I knew I needed to pack up my wagon and trek across the country from Minnesota to see what I might uncover.
Heck, I had as good of a chance as anybody, right? I remember thinking a well-intentioned, charismatic, halfway-decent singer like myself stood a pretty good shot at a record deal. I had bought records and seen concerts by artists who appeared to be a lot more mediocre than me. People say the record industry just puts out crap. I say, why can’t they just put out my crap?
It has become very important for me to identify what the Evil Voices In My Head are telling me. If I don’t, I just feel overwhelmed by fear and stupidity.
For instance, as a writer I hate walking into a bookstore. Part of me wants to find something interesting to connect with, some new writer that will affect my life like Anne Lamott or Eugene Peterson. All the covers plead for me to judge their contents by their prettiness. Truth is, sometimes you can judge a book by its cover. But instead of discovering beautiful new literary connections, I get bowled over by the silence. Like leafing through page after page of a dating service notebook filled with women last named A-G. So much muted potential, prettied-up with a fancy exterior. But mostly, it’s the overwhelming silence of all those unsold books that is so deafening to me. And I really want to be one more of the unsold authors stacked on those disorganized shelves? What could possibly be wrong with me?
All those words on all those pages. All those hours spent by someone somewhere, hoping their efforts would have some value. All those months waiting for a publisher to pick up their manuscript. All those hours wondering if that publisher will ever do anything to promote their dang book, or if it will just get lost in the shuffle of their better-selling, celebrity-driven, ghost-written titles.
It’s very similar to going into a record store and seeing all those unsold CDs just sitting there, patiently waiting for someone to give them a chance. So much unnoticed music. At the same time, there are so many artists that sell a ton of records. So many authors who sell a ton of books. And still, so many artists and authors who have personally affected me. I’m grateful they chose to throw their heart down the chute of creativity so that I could have my life changed by their expressions.
It started off beautiful. The sun was shining and the temperature was unseasonably warm for December. It was Tuesday, which meant Scott and I would try to get together for coffee, like we have been doing for probably 15 years. We talk about our favorite TV shows, sporting teams, music, and recent travels. It kind of feels like we're those old guys that sit around the coffee shop and talk about not much. It's comforting and stable, in the midst of these very disposable days. As we talked, the clouds starting gathering about, and increasing their darkness.
I ventured a thought-provoking question in Scott's direction, one of my most favorite things to do over coffee. "So what do you hope happens in the coming year? What are you wishing for?" Before he even answered, I was both hoping he'd ask me, and then just as quickly, realized I actually didn't want him to ask me. So I listened. It all seemed pretty reasonable. Meaning, quite doable.
Then he asked me. "So, what about you?"
I sat silent for a second. I started to feel a little sick in my stomach. All these things I'm wishing and hoping and praying for flashed through my mind like it was 1993, 1994, and every year since. I said a couple things out loud, a couple of things that seemed reasonable. But I was stunned by the frustration I started to feel. I've been wishing for the same things for so long. Other people have been waiting and hoping for me, as well. I can only imagine they're getting worn out, like me, wishing for my success, frustrated by the lack of something breakthrough-ish happening in my professional life.
It started to rain on my drive home. And I felt the clouds in my spirit turning very dark. "Am I so crazy that I can't give up on my dreams? Am I that guy? Or am I setting the world record for persistence! Am I committed and loyal, and fiercely driven by my calling? Or am I just hitting my head against the same worn out wall, hoping that it will stop hurting?" The questions make me want to eat ice cream.
Well, it's been a hot summer here in Nashville, but probably where you are, too! Do you ever get to the point where you've just had about enough of the summer heat and you just wanna go "up nort?" It's very similar to that feeling where you decide to plan your Christmas tour to end in Florida! With that, I'm excited to report a whole gaggle of concerts in the coming weeks, particularly for those of you in Minnesota. So pull out your datebook and decide when we're going to see each other again. Here are the details...
7pm Sat. Aug 25 - Rochester, MN - UTurn Event Center - Join me, and another Nashville act, You Knew Me When (with other artists, too), for a special time at one of my favorite places. This is a ticketed event. More info here on the facebook event page
4pm Sun. Aug 26 - Rochester, MN - Salem Road Covenant Church - We're going to have a great time (as a follow up to the most ruckus Christmas concert ever) at this afternoon concert. Church website
5:30pm Mon. Aug 27 - Rochester, MN - Peace Plaza - join us for this free OUTDOOR concert in beautiful downtown Rochester, a creative outreach to the community!! We're gonna turn up the HOPE to 11! Rochester info here
6:30pm Wed. Aug 29 - Nisswa, MN - Lutheran Church of the Cross - A special night of hope & inspiration in this beautiful church, perfectly designed for a great music experience. I look forward to meeting new friends, and seeing old friends & family from Crosslake & Pequot Lakes, too! Church website
7:30pm Fri. Aug 31 - Minneapolis, MN - River Towers Condos Function Room - An intimate evening of Stories & Songs with friends I haven't seen for probably 20 years or more. Shoot me an email if you'd like to come! Bring friends!
9:30am Sun. Sep 2 - Rochester, MN - Rochester Covenant Church - This is my home church away from home...and I'm honored to be speaking and singing for the entire morning service. Here's their website
Don't know about you, but I'm really excited about this upcoming trip. Especially the opportunity to make a huge impact on the community of Rochester. Closely followed by an opportunity to go to a Twins game and maybe even a visit to the MN State Fair for something fried on a stick. I'm also hoping to preview a bit of a new HYMNS project I'm working on.
Hope to see you out there on the road. Please forward this post to all your friends and tell them to come out to a show. If you're not in Minnesota, let me know if you think of someplace I should come sing. And until that happens, I trust God is blessing you...and that you can see how He is.
I was just asked how it's going with my sobriety. I can't imagine what my face looked like because my mind started racing at 300 miles per hour, attempting to scan every conversation I've had with this guy to figure out exactly what he might be referring to. It's not like we're the closest of friends, you know, like someone I would tell my secrets to, who would then be given permission to ask me questions like this. I had just told him how meaningful, joyful, and story-filled are my times on the weekend working in hospitality at a local hotel.
"I mean, it must be difficult being around the alcohol and people drinking all the time," he clarified.
My head was still spinning. I've lived my whole life doing what the best publicists do for all the celebrities—spin control. You know how they take their client's random acts of stupidity caught on tape and turn them into something career-building? That's what I do for my biggest client—me. Except it's a bit more subtle. If I can keep up the appearance that everything is the way it's "supposed to be" then there won't be anybody trying to get underneath, to see what's really brewing in my cauldron of gooey pleasantness. There's nothing intriguing about nice.
Being nice is a great way to keep people at a distance. And for an attention-hungry, insecure, emotionally-driven narcissist, I can get pretty hungry for attention. So I've learned subtle ways to manipulate people into giving me a taste of the sweet honey I crave.
When you show a chink in your nice, especially if it's a briefly revealed glimpse of pain on your face, it concerns people.
I would never call myself a scholar per se, on anything, except maybe pop music in the 80s. But I do find it interesting in the Old Testament where Moses leads the stubborn, incredibly cynical Israelites through the desert for 40 years. Seriously? 40 years is a crazy long time to be on a journey toward something you can’t see.
Turns out they were promised a kind of freedom, a land where they could be free from the tyranny they had lived under in Israel, a land flowing with milk and honey. Show me a land flowing with steak and ice cream, and I might journey toward it myself, but if I'm gone a week with no sign of nothing meaty or creamy, I'm out of there.
These Israelites, as much as they complained, must have had incredible determination and persistence to stay on the course. Still, I would've become tired, distracted, resentful. I would have to be reminded over and over exactly why we were doing this whole "wandering through the desert" thing. Probably several times each day.
I imagine having thoughts like: "Hey Moses, you sure you know where you're taking us?" "Now, why exactly are we doing this?" or "This land here looks pretty good. I think I can smell honey."
You have no idea how much I love you, though at times I do believe you catch glimpses of it. Those are the times of peace that you encounter—it's kind of a peace that blows you away, right? You don't have to work very hard to feel my love—it's always present. If I could give you a little advice, I'd say: My child, I'm so proud of you. I made you very special. I believe you know that, and I love how you live your life always looking for ways to bring love and joy to other people. That's awesome! You are doing so much really great stuff and being used so well, that it's hard to think you'd be better off somewhere else.
Even still, I want to empower you to go after what you desire deep down, and trust that I'm with you. Really dig in and go after your dreams. I'm not going to be a genie in a bottle for you, but I'm with you. Cheering you on.
I love to see you happy and while I want you to know that TRUE happiness is only going to be found by resting in my love & peace, there are great joys to experience in this world so GO FOR IT! But, be patient and don't let your place in the journey ever get you down, or make you feel like there's something wrong with you or your abilities. Step back and see it as a beautiful, valuable story that's being written—it's not about you getting everything you want, or it's not about you being perfect, or amazing, or even great. It's about taking the next step in the direction that you hear me whisper. You HAVE been doing that really well—but I sense discouragement when you focus too much on the FUTURE. The problem with being ambitious is that you continually run the risk of not being present. That's why you have to work extra hard to stay present and see all that I'm giving you today, and all that you have—you truly have all you need for your deepest joy TODAY!
Worship Is....a choice. I have a choice as to how I'm going to respond to God's love for me. I could sit around my house and revel in the fact that the God of the Universe is passionately in love with me. Or I could allow that powerful love to be the fuel that gets me out of the house, filled with strength, courage, compassion, and creativity to interact with the world around me.
I've tried worship where I sing with eyes closed, arms outstretched, seeking to have a "good worship experience." And sometimes I feel all gushy and warm, like "God really showed up." But the fact remains that God has shown up...and will continue showing up...regardless of how I feel. Actually, it requires for me to have more faith in the truth of God when the "feelings" of His presence are absent.
Worship Is...continually choosing to not place such high value on my own feelings, and place higher value on the people around that God puts in my life--people who are desperately wanting to experience God's love, hope and compassion. I receive from God, not so I can hold onto it, but so that I can give it away to others.
God so loved the world that....he gave His only son. God showed his love to the world by sending his son. I desire to show God my own love for him...in worship. The best way I can do that, in my opinion, is by sending myself out into the world around me. God so loved me that...I can give my own life away to others.
I'm on a journey toward my dreams. And, as you can imagine, it's not always the easiest thing in the world. After I muster up enough courage to take a step forward, I'll stop and look around. I just want to see if I took the right step, or if it was a bad one. Sometimes I can't tell by myself. I have to look to other people for the objectivity I lack. One can have too many "yes men" in their life. Seriously, you really can't make room for one, except for your mother, perhaps.
Then I find myself waiting for glimpses of hope. Something that happens that tells me things are all going to work out. I've been raised to look for the big signs of affirmation (the applause, the money, the success) as proof that I'm on the right track. My eyes are learning that that kind of long-term, mostly superficial vision is merely a distraction, that really I shouldn't look so far ahead. That perhaps those big doses of encouragement are overrated.
I'm beginning to believe that the best things in life are found in the little things...the things that I might miss if I'm not looking. It's the tiny turns and twists in the road that take us to the new places...seldom new Interstates that we come across. Beauty is found in the nuance of the present. I keep praying, "God help me to see how you want to surprise me today." And he usually answers with something beautiful and meaningful...and small.
I wanted to share one of my favorite blog posts with you. Maybe it's what you've been waiting to hear...
If you're anything like me, sometimes you feel like there's nothing happening in your life...and perhaps nothing ever will. The dreams that you've been holding onto are slipping through your fingers. The hopes of some kind of breakthrough professionally or relationally are gradually drifting out to sea, leaving a tangleweed of cynicism behind for you to trudge through.
Then I had this crazy thought this morning, reading a killer book called "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. He dares to suppose that this time we're spending in what he calls The Waste Land, where we feel like nothing's happening and probably never will, is actually a very purpose-filled time. That it's a time where we are being turned into the people that will actually be capable of carrying out the dreams and hopes we're holding onto.
It's funny how everyone who enters into the military knows they have to go through the horrid, near-torture of boot-camp. But they do it because they know that it is going to prepare them for what's to come. The pain, struggle and conflict during this brief time holds great purpose for them and their greater mission.
Thank you so much to these reporting stations for taking a chance on me and playing "Pilgrim Man" for their listeners! It means a ton to me -- KCRN (San Angelo, TX), WECC (Saint Marys, GA), KCFB/KTIG (Pequot Lakes, MN), WTGN (Lima, OH). I hope the song is a great encouragement to their listeners! WDAC & WBYN in Pennsylvania, too! I really appreciate the support & encouragement! Anyone else hearing the song?
We all want to be on the winning team, right? It feels good! We feel strong and powerful. Victorious! Nobody strives to win the silver medal. I believe this can carry over into our faith. We want to be the people who are right—who do things the right way, for the right purposes, to feel like we have special insight into what God wants from us.
Here comes my bold statement of the day: I believe we have a ton of people showing a incomplete understanding of God's love…and it's only building up walls and dividing us from our brothers and sisters. This isn't anything new, either. 2000 years ago, the Pharisees and religious leaders were constantly trying to divide people according to good and bad, right and wrong. Jesus came along and said that we are all bad…and there's nothing you can do about it! But (I imagine him saying) just watch what I'm going to do about it!
We get in a huff when people do things we disagree with. We express sadness or disappointment—at times, vitriol—and then hope they somehow see Jesus in us. We are never going to be able to modify the behavior of the masses in order to make them good enough for heaven. There's no such thing! That's a humbling truth I'm not sure many relgious people understand. Thank God it's not up to us!
I find personal freedom in letting go of trying to change people to be like I think they should be, and continually falling on love as my action of choice toward them. However imperfect I am at that now, I hope to live the rest of my life improving.
I heard something amazing in prison this morning that I wanted to share with you. My buddy Steve told me about a friend of his (let's call him Jeff) who has been inside for 30 years—and he's only 47 years old. And while he's been up for parole a couple times before this latest time, each time prior one of his victim's family members was there to speak against his release. But something happened this past week. Something changed. Yes, the victim's sister was still there. But something changed in her. She said that she believed it was time for him to be released. That it was time for her to forgive and to move on. Jeff was sentenced to life in prison for something he did when he was 17. And now, 30 years later he's being recommended to be released from prison on parole. The sister had one condition: that Jeff check in with her once a month and let her know how he's doing. Whoa! This story of forgiveness and redemption cuts straight to the heart of the gospel message. God doesn't want any of us to live in unforgiveness...and most of us need it ourselves, and need to offer it to someone else! Forgiveness doesn't happen when we deserve it. It happens when we don't. I pray that you will, in honor of Jeff, take a moment and offer forgiveness to someone in your life...someone who probably doesn't appear to deserve it, but who desperately needs it. I'd love to hear your story. If you'd like to send me an email, I'd love that.
I love going to the Midwest...especially because it usually involves seeing great friends, family, and of course...baseball! I'm hoping to make three MLB games this trip - Chicago Cubs (my 2nd trip to Wrigley), the Twins (with my family!), and a new, unexpected, first time trip to catch the Milwaukee Brewers at Miller Park. Along the way, I'll be visiting a few radio stations to talk about my brand new single "Pilgrim Man" and somehow convince them that their ratings will increase if they play it. And their children will be better behaved and get scholarships to good schools.
I'm especially thrilled about a few concert opportunities to share my songs & stories with people along the way. Something happens when we come together and take a few moments to be authentic and vulnerable. Hope takes root, and people are encouraged. For that, I'm continually amazed and honored.
Hope to see you sometime along the way...
Don't forget my new music video...and the opportunity to get a free download of the song here.
For best results, hit PLAY and then pause it, letting the whole video load before starting to watch. You can also watch at different levels of quality, too, if you'd like.
So...what do you think? Please drop me a note in the comments section below, and please share this video with anyone you think could stand a giant dose of hope.
Many thanks to the amazing JR Davis for creating this video. Need video work done? Please contact him via his website or via email.
Additional thanks to Craig Purcell, Suki Neblett, Jesse Walker, and Debra McCowan! And Julie Branhan and Soul Choir (www.soulchoir.com) including, Judith Baker, Tina Caveness, Jennifer Dixon, Tara Oliver, Madonna Williams, Justine Yates. Additionally, Stan Stacey and David Perry. And the awesome Craig Nunn, who makes a brief cameo appearance in one of the shots! And the park ranger lady who tried to shut us down and only made us more passionate about the whole thing.
"Pilgrim Man" track produced by Christopher Davis (www.christopherdavismusic.com) and mixed by Timothy Brown. Music & lyrics by Mark Smeby. Band/Choir charts and soloist accompaniment tracks are available! Just send me an email. Radio servicing being handled by Wendell Gafford of Creative Promotions.
I’m a huge baseball fan. But don’t ask me to join your fantasy baseball league. Heck, don’t even bother asking me stats or which player transferred to which new team. Those are irrelevant details—because my love is truly for the game itself.
This is opening week, a return to the grand, grass-filled sanctuaries filled with hot dog eating fans, and constant coverage on ESPN and the MLB Network. Life feels more like it’s supposed to feel when baseball is in season.
Still, whenever I express my love for the game, I’m prepared to hear people say things like, “Man, baseball is so boring,” or…nope, that’s it—that what everyone who isn’t a baseball fan says.
But Opening Day signifies a kind of new life, a fresh start, a rebirth of the old teams, a blank slate of possibility. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve said about my favorite team at the end of the season, “Maybe next year.” Well, next year is here. And there’s always a chance that something new and exciting will happen. Last year’s slump will become this year’s triumph. Last year’s basement dweller may just become a wild-card contender.
But baseball to me is more than just who wins and loses.
"Just when it looks like the story is over, and the hero is done, the plotline takes a beautiful, redemptive twist. What we think is the end, is actually the most important part of story."
Since this is Holy Week, I thought you might enjoy listening to some great worship tunes, specifically around the theme of Easter. I'm grateful to have worked briefly with Don Bittner on his syndicated radio show, "The Heart of Worship." This particular week, he had laryngitis and asked me to fill in. What an honor! So he sent me the script and I recorded it here in my house, and then voilà! A two hour radio show! I hope you enjoy listening - there are some great songs in here. Don is now working on a great new radio show called "Keep The Faith" - you can check that out by clicking here!
What kinds of things do you pray about? Lately, I've been praying to understanding what faith is. You probably got a bit of that if you read the blog entry about my recent TV audition. But even beyond that, what does properly focused faith...um...focus on? I believe that being a strangely ambitious person with highly defined goals has made my understanding of faith difficult. Why, you ask? Because at my worst, I've placed my faith in God to make all my dreams come true, in exactly the way I think he should do it. Wouldn't you agree this makes God a bit like Aladdin's genie in a bottle—simply meant to grant my wishes? I'm humbled and a bit embarrassed to admit this. But I'm thankful for a breakthrough that came this week, showing me how my perspective was all wrong.
A friend told me how he was trying to a sell a house in a different state...for three and a half years. Uggh, right!? He was frustrated most of that time, until he decided to completely surrender the house to God. He said it's been an amazing six months of trusting that God was in control...and that he was going to be alright, if or when the house ever sold. I saw my own life goals so clearly in front of me as he told his story.
I felt the support of so many people carrying me into this audition. The casting director asked me to call her. She reminded me to do my scene just like I did it the last time through on Wednesday. To wear the same thing. And don’t be shocked if I actually don’t get to see the director.
That last part didn’t make sense to me. But I chock it up to some Hollywood thing where it’s all about keeping the actors on their toes, never knowing what to expect, and to always remember who’s in charge. Kind of like how the guys are treated in prison. Except with the possibility of a cool, life-changing opportunity hanging in the balance.
Again, I was the first one in the waiting room. But it became apparent that there were going to be about eight of us seen. I was oddly nervous, and saw myself turn into a kind of party host meets stand-up comic. I introduced myself as everyone came in—partly to be kind, but also to find out what part they were up for. It didn’t look like anyone else was there to read for the part of Bucky, so that felt encouraging.
The first young woman went in, taking her fiddle. I took the ready seat, since I was next. She came out and said how incredibly nice everyone was. No sweat. They called my name, took me down the hall, and told me to stand outside the door for a second. This is when I got super nervous. Waiting for the gun to go off while in the starting blocks. This must be what it feels like before you go into the judge’s room on American Idol.
Surrender is super tough. Especially when other people are brought into the story. I took a chance by posting something on Facebook about it—something I never do when it comes to stuff like this.
It was difficult to do anything productive the rest of the day. For some reason, this experience felt different than any I’d ever had. Was it the involvement of my Facebook friends? Was it the outpouring of love and prayers of my family and close friends who were so excited, and maybe even a little convinced that I would get the part? I felt very vulnerable. Exposed. Not that I’d let anybody down if I don’t get it, but how does it affect people’s view of God when they, heck…when I…pray for something, and it doesn’t happen? I also thought about how smart God would be to make this happen, because of the residual benefit it’d provide to my music ministry. Come on, God…right?
While the texts kept coming into my phone: How did it go? I laid sideways on my bed, trying to process some of these thoughts in my journal. I had just read Matthew 17 that morning where Jesus says, “If you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, ‘Move!’ and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn’t be able to tackle.”
Well, it’s official that I have not been cast in the pilot of TV show I auditioned for. I thought it’d be interesting to share what my experience over the past couple weeks has been like...let you see some of the craziness I call normal life. Parts 2 & 3 will post over the next couple of days.
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On a dime. The way I’m choosing to live my life, it can all turn 180 degrees in a moment’s notice. An unexpected phone call or email could send me around the world or onto the television screen in a matter of hours. It’s an exciting way to live. But it comes with more than a fair share of unsettledness—enough uncertainty to choke a horse...if I was a horse.
Wed 2/29/12 - I just came home from a really important audition. A “this could change my life” kind of audition. I’m trying to think ahead to someone reading this and already knowing the outcome, and the subsequent cancellation of the production. Or it could be the opposite: You mean, you had a shot at being on that show! Wow…
I’m incredibly optimistic about it. But I have felt this way before, so I’m slightly cynical, as well. I have felt hopeful about the possibility of getting a valuable, mortgage-paying gig in the past (I don’t mean completely paying off the mortgage, just helping to make the monthly payment!), and having it not work out. But now I’m kind of a jumble of emotions. I’m excited and tempted to dive into the fantasy of how great life could be if this worked out, then I feel guilty for that fantasy, and assume that I’m sabotaging the job by thinking too highly of it. Most actors would agree that you usually get the gigs you don’t care about, the auditions you work on in the car as you drive to them.
I don’t know why I did it. I would sit in my beanbag chair in front of the television and watch Robert Schuller’s “Hour of Power” and be transfixed. He was an unassuming and approachable, charismatic and positive thinking preacher—kind of like if Mister Rogers ran a church. He spoke in a way that my elementary school mind could process, and millions of others, as well, since his show was the most popular hour-long church service in the world.
At its peak the church had over 10,000 members. Schuller was the Joel Osteen of his day. He wrote dozens of books, selling millions with titles like Way To The Good Life (1963), Move Ahead With Possibility Thinking (1967), Self-Love (1975), You Can Be The Person You Want To Be (1976), Toughminded Faith for Tenderhearted People (1979), Self-Esteem: The New Reformation (1982), Tough Times Never Last but Tough People Do (1983), Living Positively One Day At A Time (1986).
Schuller opened Garden Grove Community Church in 1955 at an old drive-in movie theater, allowing people to sit in their cars and hear the sermon. He then built a facility where he could preach to 500 cars as well as people sitting inside the church. This eventually turned into the famous Crystal Cathedral, which is everything you’d think it’d be—a grand and glorious testimony to the goodness of God. And I helped build it.
You might know we are in the beginning days of Lent—the 40 days prior to Easter. Some people give up certain things, in order to experience "lack," to identify with Jesus, to know His desire to fill up those empty places. Others take on a new discipline. I decided to read the red letters—the words of Jesus (I personally favor Eugene Peterson's Message translation)...to really listen and find new truths and direction for my life. I wanted to encourage you with something that surprised me. In Matthew 11, John the Baptist is in prison for a really stupid reason...and he has no clue that he's about to...ahem, get his head chopped off. He's feeling confused about who Jesus is...and what he's actually going to do while here. He's certainly not doing what everyone had expected him to do.
In verse 3, John sent his disciples to ask Jesus, "Are you the One we've been expecting, or are we still waiting?" Jesus, of course, had a great answer, which you can read for yourself. But I'm blown away that John...after all he'd be through with Jesus...heck, they were even related! (Their mothers were cousins!)...would question for even a second if Jesus was the Messiah! This is the same John who made a name for himself by baptizing people, and telling them of the One greater, Jesus, who is coming!
You could say there’s nothing fabricated about Adele…she’s the anti-pop star. We all love to cheer for her because she doesn’t look like pop stars are supposed to look, and her music isn’t pre-packaged or au courant. It really does seem to be a true underdog story—Great Talent wins out over the Big Label System. And she truly seems to be amazed at how people are responding.
The truth is, Adele is signed to a major label and none of us would know about her if she wasn’t. Still, there are plenty of artists signed to major labels that have never seen the light of day, or sold anywhere near the amount of records Adele has.
But that voice. People hear her sing, and then can’t help but tell others, “Have you hear of this girl, Adele? Her voice…” I know I have. She has a voice that can barely be restrained within the confines of a compact disc. I can only imagine that hearing her live would be astonishing.
People also resonate with her authenticity. The way she sings makes it easy to believe that she really means it. And in interviews, she is nothing short of charming and self-effacing. But even after hearing her huge smash, “Rolling in the Deep” dozens of times, I’m not sure what it means, beyond obvious heartbreak.
“We could’ve had it all, rolling in the deep. You had my heart inside your hand, and you played it to the beat.”
Perhaps it’s a kind of Brit slang that would say, “Hey baby, you and me got it so good…we really are rolling in the deep.” I dunno. But it doesn’t matter—because people are feeling something. It’s hard not to feel something when you hear Adele, regardless of what she’s singing.
Thank you so much to everybody who came out during the month of December to my HOPE of CHRISTMAS tour. What a blast! Over the course of the month, I drove 4800 miles and sang more than I ever have. I'm thankful to God for answering all your prayers for my safety and physical well-being. It was fun to get back to places where I've been before, and hear people singing along with some of my tunes (amazing!). I enjoyed going into new places like the PS Collective in Omaha where people had pizza and drinks during my show. I loved getting back to Tiburon, Inc. in Omaha, and speaking to them about how to survive the holidays. The concert in prison (with pre-concert pizza feast) was out of this world. Loved doing a house concert at the Anderson's on my birthday, followed by a huge buffet of sweets. I did enjoy going for a run in Port St. Lucie, FL, until I got lost...and ended up going 11 miles. I also loved a couple free days I built into the schedule to hang out at the beach in South Florida. I loved getting to spend awesome time with my wonderful family, and see old friends all along the way. I'm a deeply blessed man.
Check out my Christmas Tour Journal, including a music video I made on the road...HERE!
So, what's next? Let's figure it out together! Let me know if you'd like to talk about doing a concert somewhere near you.
Well...yes, I am. And I'm thrilled to admit it, even though I've had dozens of well intentioned people tell me for years that I need to just pick one thing to focus on. "Which is it, Mark? Writing, music, acting?" "Ummm..." I'd reply. "Yes!" That's my best answer, and I'm thankful I've stuck with it because I've had some wonderful doors opened to me, giving me the chance to do some amazing things, and more than a few crazy things. Yes, I've dressed up in a giant $100 bill and handed out t-shirts for a local bank. Yes, I emceed the Miss Kentucky USA pageant. Yes, I've pretended to enjoy eating fake food in several commercials. And taken a bath on camera for a country music video (Yes, I had a swimsuit on!). But there are a couple of projects I'm especially proud of...being in a couple great films: the heartwarming, Christmas film, "The Perfect Gift" and most recently, a beautiful story of courage in the face of breast cancer, "1 Message." And I'm happy to report, there are a couple additional film acting opportunities coming into focus in 2012.
1 MESSAGE
This is a beautiful story about a young woman struggling with the ravaging effects of breast cancer. It's called "1 Message" and is produced by Kelly's Filmworks, the same people that delivered "The Perfect Gift" and "Clancy," not to mention "The Perfect Stranger" and "Another Perfect Stranger." I'll keep you updated as I know more information.
1 MESSAGE: The Story
Rebecca Norris is a 28-year old woman living out the good life in America; blessed with natural beauty, a successful career, and a handsome, equally-successful fiancée, her well-structured existence thrives in a world where nothing could go wrong. Then came the morning she discovered the lump. Now, twelve months later, she finds herself in a self-imposed prison of depression, despair and loneliness – her beauty and her life radically cut down by what she had always perceived as ‘a mature woman’s disease’. Becca’s dark, gray Seattle days are consumed by overeating, bitterness, and a desire to shut out family, friends, and the world in general.
Then one day, a random email from a faceless mentor (me!) across the country breaks through the cold walls of Becca’s life, and his inspiring words begin to crack the hard exterior that has served as both her defense and her cell block. Over the next few months, Becca begins to rediscover the beating heart inside her…the hidden treasure that the scars of a driveby mastectomy could damage, but not destroy. A new start on life ensues, along with hard-learned lessons about self-worth, love, and the healing power of forgiveness. Her climactic journey to find her newfound soul mate culminates in a heartwarming discovery and a surprise-twist ending.
Chicago-based author Mary T. Lennox, a former oncology nurse, wrote “1 Message” in early 2003, and self-published it in 2004. Calling on her experiences with cancer patients, she created her main character based on the stories and struggles she had witnessed throughout her 22 years of service. Producer / writer Jefferson Moore began adapting the novel for screen in mid-2006. Later that same year, his mother Betty was diagnosed with breast cancer.
EMMANUEL & THE PERFECT GIFT
I'm so excited & grateful to have made my feature film acting debut in "The Perfect Gift" - a tremendous family film that explores the culture war that pops up every year around the celebration of Christmas. I got to play the bad guy in the movie - type casting, right!? I'm so thankful for this amazing opportunity. Many of you have seen the film in theaters, or on television, or have bought the DVD. Thank you so much! And thanks to Jefferson & Kelly Moore for being so awesome and inviting me to be a part of their lives, as well as their movie.
You might have heard my song "Emmanuel (You Are With Me)" in the film, on the radio, or seen the video on TV. Thank you so much for the outpouring of support for this song. I appreciate so much all the radio stations that took a chance on playing a tune from an unknown artist with a weird last name. And for all the emails from people all over the world who have had their lives impacted by this song.
I wanted this to be a song that addressed the fact that Christmas isn't always the happiest time of year for a lot of people, but then invite God into that place. I hope it can be a great song of encouragement to people who struggle with depression or loneliness at this time of year. The song is available on iTunes! You can watch the music video we made for the song HERE ON YOUTUBE - an alternate version of the video is also on the DVD for "The Perfect Gift." Here's the movie trailer...
PRECIOUS MEMORIES & CLANCY
The movie “Clancy” - featuring my tune “Precious Memories” - has also been released on DVD, and seems to be getting a ton of television viewings on various cable networks. I hope you get to see this great film. It has a huge heart.
I wrote the song “Precious Memories” as a tribute to my grandmother who told me I could do anything I wanted. If I could have one more day with her, what would I want to say to her? This song is my response. I've been blown away by hearing that people have had this song played at funerals! Wow...amazing. Here's the music video we did for the song HERE on YOUTUBE.
I love how the new year brings with it an automatic dose of optimism. The whole world breathes a collective sigh of relief that, "Yes, this year will be better than the last." It's a time of looking ahead, of making plans, and going after new dreams. It feels like hope.
But I'm curious what holds me back. Because even as I sit here at my desk, with piles of to-do lists filled with things I can be working on—all of which will be very beneficial to me—I find myself more often than not paralyzed. A writer's block, of sorts. It's a feeling that my phone must have right before it completely loses its charge. The gas tank is nearing E, and the sputtering is so deafening I think I'm gonna take a nap.
Thank you to all the radio stations & listeners who took a chance on my music and played "You Are" from my Christmas CD! I always have said that chart position doesn't matter, but when the tune hit #8 on the national radio chart (CMW Inspirational), I couldn't help but feel encouraged and thrilled that people were getting to hear this song. It was a great Christmas gift. You can listen to the song, and the rest of the album, HERE.
I wrote this song to be an exciting description of who Jesus is...Light to the world, Love to a heart, and Hope for today. Thanks to Tim Brown my co-writer and amazing producer, and to Wendell Gafford who has worked tirelessly to tell radio stations around the country about my music.
While driving down a super, busy street (Mack Hatcher here in Franklin), I passed a man who was out for his daily walk. But he wasn't just walking.
When he got ready to leave the house this morning, he chose his favorite yellow ball cap, white cut-off sleeved t-shirt, and jogging shorts. He put on his headphones, attached not to an iPod, but a bulky CD player, and threw in his happy music. I knew it was happy music because he wasn't just walking, this guy was dancing as he walked. He had arm gestures and everything. He twirled, gestured, back-stepped, and bounced, almost like he was two-steppin while moving forward. It was awesome. It was joyful. And it was uninhibited. I couldn't take my eyes of the guy in my rear-view mirror as I passed him.
I want to be like the dancing guy. I want to put on my happy music and dance while I walk. But somewhere down the line, I learned that people laugh at people like that. People point fingers and stare at people like that. But, sadly, it's been a long time since I've seen a guy who looked happier and more confident than the dancing guy. And he made me smile. People who just walk or jog down the street don't make me smile. But I smiled because I was proud that there is still someone left in this world that lives out of his heart, and isn't controlled by fear of what people might think about him. Because that is truly how I want to live, regardless of how few examples I might have.
Dance even though no one hears the music in your heart.
