Being Famous

I hope you're ok with me being completely fantastical here...

It cracks me up when people ask me what it's like to be famous. I wish I had a better answer. I usually say, quite humbly, "I really don't feel any different than you." But what I really mean is, "It's frickin' weird!" Seriously...weird. Like, life becomes a fight to hang onto what used to be normal, because everything and (most) everyone around becomes un-normal.

I can't tell anymore if people look at me from across the room because they recognize me, or if they think I might be someone they should recognize, or if I actually used to know them. Heck, maybe they're justing trying to be nice! It's become nearly impossible to consider people's actions toward me as someone who is just being nice, because I've trained myself to constantly be evaluating people's motives.

This is all not to mention how crazy busy life gets. There are people everywhere pulling and tugging and begging and even (gasp!) crying...for attention. I can't help but get a bit cynical about it...wondering why certain people don't have more of a life. I used to think, "If you only knew the real me, you probably wouldn't like me anymore." But I don't think that anymore...mostly because the impression that most people have of me is very, very close to who I really am. Of course, strangers can't know me completely, thankfully so. But I've worked very hard to make sure that I don't advertise anything false. For instance, if someone likes my heart, or my sense of humor, I can be grateful for that. They've probably seen a glimpse of it somewhere along the line. Even still, some strangers think that they know you better than they really do...and that's a little scary. Or some people have carved such a huge place in their life for their fantasies about me that they have lost all sense of personal boundaries. That's a bit frightening.

This is why it is so important for me to have a great family and an amazing group of friends surrounding me. People who know everything about me (I mean EVERYTHING), and still love me deeply. They are cheering me on, but at the same time, they don't care if I ever accomplish anything more. They actually would prefer if I was home more often. Their phone calls and emails mean the world to me when I'm away, and our times together over coffee or dinner are priceless.

I hope I don't sound ungrateful. I truly am grateful for all the amazing opportunities I've been given and the chance to get to know some really fascinating people. I just wanted to take a minute and try to write down some really honest thoughts and hopefully help someone understand better what life is like, not just for me, but for other people whose faces they see or voices they hear everyday.

I am very blessed, not because I'm famous, but because I'm loved. I'm loved deeply by people who I love deeply, as well. We are walking together, sharing life, in all its glories and disappointments. My family, my friends and I, we all need each other to continually point out the truth about ourselves, not some fantasy world that we all tend to gravitate toward. That's a kind of success I'd wish on anyone.

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