What kinds of things do you pray about? Lately, I've been praying to understanding what faith is. You probably got a bit of that if you read the blog entry about my recent TV audition. But even beyond that, what does properly focused faith...um...focus on? I believe that being a strangely ambitious person with highly defined goals has made my understanding of faith difficult. Why, you ask? Because at my worst, I've placed my faith in God to make all my dreams come true, in exactly the way I think he should do it. Wouldn't you agree this makes God a bit like Aladdin's genie in a bottle—simply meant to grant my wishes? I'm humbled and a bit embarrassed to admit this. But I'm thankful for a breakthrough that came this week, showing me how my perspective was all wrong.
A friend told me how he was trying to a sell a house in a different state...for three and a half years. Uggh, right!? He was frustrated most of that time, until he decided to completely surrender the house to God. He said it's been an amazing six months of trusting that God was in control...and that he was going to be alright, if or when the house ever sold. I saw my own life goals so clearly in front of me as he told his story. I've been so focused on "my house selling," and racking my brain trying to figure out what would be the very best way to accomplish that. Freedom came when I realized that I've just got to do the next right thing in front of me...and simply trust God with the outcome. Meaning, make sure the lawn gets mowed, the shrubs trimmed, the rooms are clean, and it's all presented with as much excellence as possible. The rest...what happens with the house...is out of my control. But I've done my part. God's got the rest.
Does this connect with you in any way? Is there someone in your life that you wish was different, but you can't figure out how to change them? So you've been racking your brain trying to figure out what to do, when all you need to do is simply love this person as hard as you can? Or is there something out in front of you that you really want to control...so things turn out the best way you think they can (or should!)? Perhaps the peace that I just uncovered, that comes from surrendering the outcome, and the ensuing hope and courage...will help encourage you to explore what living with more faith might look like. I'd love to hear from you if that's the case.
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