Why?

A lady yesterday told me that she wished that she could stop wanting to do things that were really, really bad for her. This is coming from one of the most loving and compassionate people I know. I felt her sadness and frustration. And I couldn't help but wonder if the two were connected—her struggle and her compassion. While she cries out to God to have Him take away her frustrated desires, He lets them remain because he knows what the struggle does to her. It keeps her humble, it keeps her in check, it keeps her on her knees. She's learning she can't be her own savior. And she's learning the value of showing love and compassion to other people who are also struggling. If she was preaching a message of complete healing and sanctification here on earth, she would leave in her wake scores of frustrated unhealed others. But instead, she is learning and teaching the value of leaning on God and each other for hope and strength to make it through another day. Sounds like it's all going according to Plan.

Pilgrim Man

This is collection of songs I've written through the years I hope will be an encouragement to the church, just like Lars in "The Secret Meeting Place," who was instructed to awaken the slumbering souls in the village down below. This is one of the ways I hope to do that. The title track sums it up for me. Here are the lyrics:

Verse One: Thirsty soul tired feel empty hands heavy heart, This is not all you have, you have been given more Chorus: Pilgrim man don't give up though the road be long and the journey hard. You are not alone and God will carry you. Hold on pilgrim man, you're almost home Verse Two: Faithful friends by your side. burning heart, hope in sight. He's been down this road before, He's walking with you now Repeat Chorus: Bridge: You might think you've had enough, but the best is yet to come Repeat Chorus: Benediction: May the Lord grant you peace (On your journey home), May the Lord grant you grace (On your journey home), May the Lord grant you joy (On your journey home), May the Lord grant you faith (On your journey home)

Crap.

Honestly, I don't know how much more I can take. The partially-cleaned carpet stains are right near my feet as I type. The smell isn't so much overbearing, as is it a curiosity-inducing "what is that?" Every once in a while, the acidic sweetness of urine wafts past my nose. See, my dog wasn't feeling too well the other night. Or she was mad at me. Or she was lonely and didn't think I was ever coming home. I have no way of knowing if anything goes through her brain except "I have GOT to get rid of this crap ASAP!" Being the sensitive female that she is, she made sure she did it out of the way of the main thoroughfares of my house, hoping not to disturb order too much. But did she ever dump a load or two. Sweet thing.

But between you and me, when I got home Sunday about 2am to find these lovely deposits, I was too worn out to really clean it up. I picked up the biggest chunks…and left the rest. The remnants. And I'm guessing that's what I'm smelling right now. So I've lit a candle. That buys me some time before I really have to dig in and clean up her…my mess. She made it; then it became my mess. It's no longer hers. Dogs have no ownership of their messes. This is where we differ. I own my messes. Or at least, I'm supposed to. And I can't help but wonder if my life is filled with lit candles covering up the rank odor of my sloppy depravity.

I can't know completely how to answer that. But I can begin by cleaning the carpet today. And when I see something else that needs cleaning, clean that. It's easy to light a candle. But I don't want to be a person who walks through all of life's crap simply smelling artificial cinnamon scents.

Worship Is...

Worship Is....a choice. I have a choice as to how I'm going to respond to God's love for me. I could sit around my house and revel in the fact that the God of the Universe is passionately in love with me. Or I could allow that powerful love to be the fuel that gets me out of the house, filled with strength, courage, compassion, and creativity to interact with the world around me.

I've tried worship where I sing with eyes closed, arms outstretched, seeking to have a "good worship experience." And sometimes I feel all gushy and warm, like "God really showed up." But the fact remains that God has shown up...and will continue showing up...regardless of how I feel. Actually, it requires for me to have more faith in the truth of God when the "feelings" of His presence are absent.

Worship Is...continually choosing to not place such high value on my own feelings, and place higher value on the people around that God puts in my life--people who are desperately wanting to experience God's love, hope and compassion. I receive from God, not so I can hold onto it, but so that I can give it away to others.

God so loved the world that....he gave His only son. God showed his love to the world by sending his son. I desire to show God my own love for him...in worship. The best way I can do that, in my opinion, is by sending myself out into the world around me. God so loved me that...I can give my own life away to others.